The beauty of conflict

I had to call my counsellor again on Monday. I would have normally dealt with the anxiety and overwhelm on my own but because my job required me to attend the Monday night meeting, I needed to quickly tidy up my spinning head before 7pm. We had a ten minute call in which I breathlessly explained that things were getting really tense at work, there was a lot of conflict and hurt around, and I was scared of attending this meeting in which I’d be stuck in the middle of it all. She very gently got me to slow down and speak clearly, and asked me why the conflict was bothering me.

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Dr Strange – Open your mind

We’ve been on a Marvel Comic Universe journey during lockdown, and last night we reached Dr Strange. It’s a movie all about harnessing the power of the universe for good (or bad) and mastery of energy for healing. And how a negative incident – his car crash for example – is an opportunity to discover new strengths and skills. The mystic one says to Dr Strange, ‘I know how to reorient the spirit to better heal the body.’ and shows him diagrams of chakras, acupressure and other studies, which he immediately dismisses as giftshop fairy nonsense.

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Day two

What a surprise. It’s not going well. Yesterday I didn’t manage my six Miracle Morning tasks by 10am when I started work. Started off great with fifteen minutes jogging silently on the spot in the patch of early morning sunshine in the kitchen at 6am so as not to wake my love. ‘Meditation’ was alright – half an hour sitting with my eyes closed watching my mind wander all over the place – and then I went a little over budget and spent a whole 73 minutes (instead of 5) working on my affirmations. It’s a colourcoded scribbly few pages trying to whittle down the entire purpose of my life into a few neat little soundbites. It will take a while.

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30 days

I have spent the whole day reading The Miracle Morning book – interspersed with yoga, snacks and a National Theatre Live screening – and I am so happy about starting my 30 days tomorrow, for the rest of May why not. There’s a Miracle Morning facebook group full of people sharing their Miracle journeys and I am their newest excited member.

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