Day two

What a surprise. It’s not going well. Yesterday I didn’t manage my six Miracle Morning tasks by 10am when I started work. Started off great with fifteen minutes jogging silently on the spot in the patch of early morning sunshine in the kitchen at 6am so as not to wake my love. ‘Meditation’ was alright – half an hour sitting with my eyes closed watching my mind wander all over the place – and then I went a little over budget and spent a whole 73 minutes (instead of 5) working on my affirmations. It’s a colourcoded scribbly few pages trying to whittle down the entire purpose of my life into a few neat little soundbites. It will take a while.

But then my whole day was messy and unfocused. Really struggled at work, and then the headache. Which started at my desk (a laptop table propped up by books and the windowsill) in the morning and then stayed all afternoon, as I tried to do some writing, and managed making a birthday card for our elderly neighbour, but the headache was so bad it made me nearly sick. I spent a while on the toilet and then had an hour long bath to try to heat away the pain, which didn’t work. It felt like my headache was down my whole neck and back. So this morning I have tried to yoga stretch, jog and drug it away but it’s so fierce. And so I wonder if my new intention to sort out my head and my life in 30 days has caused a self sabotaging interference. It’s likely that something in me resists a drastic improvement, in which case, I need to ignore it and push through. But there’s very little motivation when you’re just in pain. I’m so grateful for every day that I don’t have stress headaches across my whole body.

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