I’ve long ago stopped pretending that I could make any new changes to my life on January 1st. Even in a Lockdown, new years day happens in a strange time of disorientation, alcohol and chocolate.
Then the first Monday could count as a new start but the first week back at work is a bit messy and muddled and you’re still putting away Christmas.
Continue reading “The New Year starts on the 10th doesn’t it?”
This title has been sitting as a draft article here for three weeks now! I felt like I couldn’t write about it until I had some magical meditational breakthrough to write about, until I realised that’s not happening any time soon. What has happened is a sudden explosion of community related tasks in the run up to Christmas so that my job has completely – happily – engulfed my time and I have found myself running about the town on various missions of festive frivolity that I have had no time for anxiety, and much less time to explore ways to overcome it.
Continue reading “Day 18: Mindfulness and meditation”
It’s getting colder out there! But I still love it. I write out my list of jobs and put the hard physical ones first so I warm up with half an hour of digging before I get round to planting bulbs.
Continue reading “Meanwhile on the allotment: Narcissus, Nasturtiums and Nettle soup!”Yes I’ve been avoiding this one, as it is massive. And a Sunday night on my own with a big Monday meeting tomorrow is a good opportunity to finally address it.
Continue reading “Day 17: Loving What is”
Oh my days. I did not realise that I have not danced for more than a year! We just had a staff zoom meeting, which was really positive. Because my love is fast asleep after his night shift, I have taken my meeting as quietly as possible in the living room, with headphones on. After the meeting, since it was so happy and productive, I found I was smiling. To keep that positive feeling while tackling the many tasks discussed, I thought I’d put a happy tune on to accompany my work.
Continue reading “Day something or other: Dance!!”
My research is proving to be more and more fun! In my alphabetical adventure this one is next. I don’t need to list my sources of hilarity this week, as there are a million entries for ‘comedy’ on youtube that you can access at anytime, which I recommend doing because as we all know, laughing makes you feel better. After an hour or so of any of my heroes of hilarity like Sarah Millican, Eddie Izzard, or James Acaster, I can actually feel the difference in my relaxed muscles, improved breathing and general lightness about my shoulders.
Continue reading “Day 15: Laughter”
How lovely this one is. I thought I would have no trouble coming up with a range of acts of kindness but now that we are in proper lockdown again I’m suddenly limited. I can’t go and help out at voluntary events, I have so few people I interact with as I work from home. I have cooked some special meals for my lovely man – but is it kindness if it’s for someone you love?
Continue reading “Day 13: Kindness”
10am. So that huge project I was working on last week is on the agenda for tonight’s meeting.
I woke up with the usual Monday meeting knot in my stomach. This is a different type of fear. Although maybe its all related. This one is the familiar meeting anxiety which, before I try to push away with work and distractions, I will dissect to see what it’s actually made of. There is the general social anxiety of a meeting full of people, but tangled up in it is the following:
Continue reading “Meeting anxiety”
So that work project that I thought would take a couple of days was a little more complex than I anticipated! What it has meant is that I’ve had a week (between deadlines) to think about this very important lesson on inner child work.
Continue reading “Day 12: Inner Child”It’s all too wonderful. My nails are dirty, my hair is windswept, my trousers are muddy and I am so peaceful.
I’ve had a huge project on at work this week, so have put my 21 days on hold for a bit, but I still make sure I get at least a half hour of gardening in everyday.
Continue reading “Allotment Diary – Whitehall, Winter Greens and Worms!”
In and out of the comfort zone 